pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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