Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
