Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
