I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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