I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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