we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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