Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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