i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
