You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
whose parrot is this?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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