he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
