whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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