I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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