I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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