actually, I'm a sock model
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
