Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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