Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize