Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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