Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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