I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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