Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
