I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
