I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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