Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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