My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Your shirt... Was in my pants
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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