its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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