When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm sobbing to NWA
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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