I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
