So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
