Fine. I'll sleep in my office
your room smells of hookers.
And success
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
