we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
