He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
