There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
