I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i need some magic done to my vagina
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
