The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I AM VODKA MAN
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
