Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
