According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
