if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize