I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
