Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
