I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
