I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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