Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
