why didn't you poke me back
he shaved USA in his pubs
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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