I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
