I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
