Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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