they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Randomize
