Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
