Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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