Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
