So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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