I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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