I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!