Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I'll alert the authorities

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  (513): someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet (330): I'll alert the authorities http://tfl.nu/v6wq
  Replies (8) Good night (1201) Bad night (550)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot

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  (517): every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot http://tfl.nu/9euo
  Replies (41) Good night (794) Bad night (1901) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.

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  (513): just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned. http://tfl.nu/25dz
  Replies (36) Good night (4839) Bad night (582) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.

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  (401): What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy. http://tfl.nu/6xxv
  Replies (25) Good night (8263) Bad night (946) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.

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  (602): When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself. http://tfl.nu/8ts9
  Replies (72) Good night (2090) Bad night (14225) Order T-Shirt
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  (607): View more from New York

  please dont tell anyone i was drunk

  (1-607): View more from New York

  you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know

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  (607): please dont tell anyone i was drunk (1-607): you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know http://tfl.nu/3807
  Replies (12) Good night (1088) Bad night (4207) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.

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  (860): Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth. http://tfl.nu/vl66
  Replies (16) Good night (1307) Bad night (5762) Order T-Shirt
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.

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  (252): this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats. http://tfl.nu/6vwk
  Replies (64) Good night (5087) Bad night (1118) Order T-Shirt
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  (805): View more from California

  I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.

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  (805): I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on. http://tfl.nu/fosj
  Replies (8) Good night (3935) Bad night (831)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.

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  (503): When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning. http://tfl.nu/i94f
  Replies (2) Good night (1650) Bad night (1256) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.

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  (713): Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome. http://tfl.nu/qq5z
  Replies (8) Good night (4190) Bad night (1653) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?

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  (570): Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer? http://tfl.nu/m731
  Replies (19) Good night (1523) Bad night (543) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.

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  (919): Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it. http://tfl.nu/kkz9
  Replies (2) Good night (361) Bad night (916)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.

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  (905): Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward. http://tfl.nu/zy4k
  Replies (6) Good night (1535) Bad night (284) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.

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  (913): If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on. http://tfl.nu/4zva
  Replies (5) Good night (580) Bad night (163) Order T-Shirt

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