he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....