it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
17 year olds will be the death of me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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