we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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