He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize