is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
