I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
